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University of Arkansas - CES - Family Life Blog

Choose the positive view

Here’s a great idea… In his book, Authentic Happiness, Martin E.P. Seligman says “A negative mood activates a battle-stations mode of thinking. A positive mood, in contrast, buoys people into a way of thinking that is creative, tolerant, constructive, generous, undefensive” (p. 39). In other words… The way we choose to think has real consequences. [&#8230;]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=uofacesfamilylife.wordpress.com&#038;blog=15864576&#038;post=982&#038;subd=uofacesfamilylife&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />

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Don’t poke at sores

Here’s a great idea… In her book Why Talking Is Not Enough, Susan Page says. . . . “If you have a sore on your arm, the last thing you should do is poke at it, dig around in there, and examine it more thoroughly. You’ll make it worse! Instead, you should create a gentle, [&#8230;]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=uofacesfamilylife.wordpress.com&#038;blog=15864576&#038;post=978&#038;subd=uofacesfamilylife&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />

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Happy people focus on others

Here’s a great idea… In his book, Authentic Happiness, Martin E.P. Seligman says, “Happy people were more likely to demonstrate more empathy and are willing to donate more money to others in need. When we are happy, we are less self-focused. Looking out for number one is more characteristic of sadness than of well-being” (pg. [&#8230;]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=uofacesfamilylife.wordpress.com&#038;blog=15864576&#038;post=980&#038;subd=uofacesfamilylife&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />

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Building and using your signature strengths

Here’s a great idea… In his book, Authentic Happiness, Martin E.P. Seligman says, “I do not believe that you should devote overly much effort to correcting your weaknesses. Rather, I believe that the highest success in living and the deepest emotional satisfaction comes from building and using your signature strengths” (p. 13). In other words… [&#8230;]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=uofacesfamilylife.wordpress.com&#038;blog=15864576&#038;post=973&#038;subd=uofacesfamilylife&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />

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Being emotionally close with your child

Here’s a life-changing idea… In his book, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, John Gottman says, “When you and your children are emotionally close, …you’re not afraid to set limits. You’re not afraid to tell them when they’ve disappointed you, when you know they can do better. And because you have an emotional bond with your [&#8230;]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=uofacesfamilylife.wordpress.com&#038;blog=15864576&#038;post=976&#038;subd=uofacesfamilylife&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />

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If only we could solve our problems

Here’s a great idea… In her book Why Talking Is Not Enough, Susan Page says: “Most couples believe, ‘If only we could solve our problems, then we could be happy together.’ The opposite is actually true: if you focus first on being happy together, your problems will diminish” ( p. 55). In other words… When [&#8230;]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=uofacesfamilylife.wordpress.com&#038;blog=15864576&#038;post=971&#038;subd=uofacesfamilylife&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />

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It’s serious to me!

Here’s a life-changing idea… In his book, Between Parent and Child, Haim Ginott says, “A child’s feelings must be taken seriously, even though the situation itself is not that serious” (p. 7). In other words… When a young child in all seriousness tells us something that from our perspective is inconsequential or unimportant, we may [&#8230;]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=uofacesfamilylife.wordpress.com&#038;blog=15864576&#038;post=969&#038;subd=uofacesfamilylife&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />

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Can positive emotions broaden us?

Here’s a great idea…. In her book Positivity, Barbara Fredrickson says, “Unlike negative emotions, which narrow people’s ideas about possible actions, positive emotions do the opposite: They broaden people’s ideas about possible actions, opening our awareness to a wider range of thoughts and actions than is typical” (p. 21). In other words… When we dwell [&#8230;]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=uofacesfamilylife.wordpress.com&#038;blog=15864576&#038;post=966&#038;subd=uofacesfamilylife&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />

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Is criticism helpful?

Here’s a great idea… In her book, Why Talking is Not Enough, Susan Page says, “When you criticize a relatively healthy person, you actually trigger that person’s self-protective instincts and probably make the person even more likely to behave in the way you don’t like, whether this reflex is conscious or unconscious” (p. 33). In [&#8230;]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=uofacesfamilylife.wordpress.com&#038;blog=15864576&#038;post=964&#038;subd=uofacesfamilylife&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />

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Good news about bad news

Here’s a great idea…. In his book Authentic Happiness, Martin Seligman says, “Depression is almost always episodic, with recovery occurring within a few months of onset. Even individuals who become paraplegic as a result of spinal cord accidents quickly begin to adapt to their greatly limited capacities, and within eight weeks they report more net [&#8230;]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=uofacesfamilylife.wordpress.com&#038;blog=15864576&#038;post=962&#038;subd=uofacesfamilylife&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />

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